Bimbo Has A Whole New Meaning.

i went to school to help out at some event involving the presence of some pre-poly students.

apparently the task was to introduce them to what a stand-upper was and guide them through scripting and presenting their pieces in front of a camera.

my first impression of them was that they were fairly normal people - save for the characteristic black sheep that were extremely attention seeking.

as the first batch was about to send out the first sacrificial lamb to forever imprint their folly on a DVC Pro Tape forever, i introduced them to our Snazzy Huge Video Camera™and explained the basic functions.

it was then that the STUPIDEST question i ever heard came running through my left ear, shredding what was left of my pulsating, shuddering brain and tearing its way out of my right ear. coloured spots exploded in front of my eyes and danced around the peripherals of my vision as i struggled to calm my flailing sanity and wrestle it back into its battered and bruised chains.

this girl cocked her head as she stuck it out of the door, seemingly confused/curious, and asked:

"can i drop it?"

let that sink in for a moment.

"can i drop it?"

THE Snazzy Huge Video Camera™?

YES, CINDERELLA DEAR - OF COURSE YOU CAN!

it's all very easy. 

all it takes is four simple steps.

first

you move within arm's reach of the camera.

second

you reach your arm out. (this is why being within arm's reach of the camera is important, because one would otherwise miss.)

third

you pick the camera off its stand and hold it up high. (if one cannot hold it up due to one's scrawny arms, be sure to get another bimbo to hold it up for you. explain that it's Gucci.)

fourth

you release the tension in  your fingers, causing them to slacken and the camera to embrace gravity and kiss the floor of MediaBiz Studios.

that is if you were willing to pay a rough sum of EIGHTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to get the camera repaired/replaced.

i rolled the question around the smoking crater which was once my brain, trying to make sense of it all and wanting to find out HOW ON EARTH such a question could be produced and though about, especially with respect to the consequences and monetary compensation to the school that would follow should such an event occur.

"can i drop it?"

the question plagued my mind like so many houseflies over a rotted corpse.

i for the life of me could not fathom why such a STUPID question was asked or even HOW it was concieved.

however, i kept my dissatisfaction/disgust/distaste/disdain/dis______(fill in whatever word you like that fits the prefix) to myself and gritted my teeth, putting the headphones on and pretending not to have heard the STUPIDEST question i ever heard.

as much as i would have liked to tear my shirt and beat my chest in utter frustration and brokenness and scream some sense into the girl, my conscience told me i would be wasting my time, and that it would not be nice to scream at a secondary school kid.

that, and the fact that my teacher was just around the corner. the teacher in question could not hear the STUPIDEST question ever because Cinderella spoke as if her mouth contained gold pieces and refused to speak louder than a fly can buzz.

the inner turmoil that was my head refused to settle itself so i resigned myself to sitting in the corner and listening to broken english and stuttered words that masqueraded as complete sentences.

all this happened within the span of roughly six seconds - and no, i'm not exaggerating. the air of stupidity was heavy enough to crush an unsuspecting child.

too bad fat guys don't get crushed that easily.