Solemn Bus Rides.

the world passes by, ever so fleeting, ever so quickly - past the trees, past the streetlights, past the many people who know not my face or name - but yet for that brief, infinitesmally short moment, our paths cross.

how different can other people's lives be? 

some are sporty, outgoing people - they enjoy being with their peers and can boast of many friendships; people clamouring for their attention and forming a line just to talk to them.

others are quiter, more reserved - however, they still have their little circle of close friends, and they are able to gel together to the point of being inseperable. in this little group, friendships are secure and tight.

and then there's me.

the overweight, overeating bum who sits on his chair and faces his computer day in, day out with nothing but his toys to keep him company. 

walking alone even with a group of people, silently observing and longing while others engage in active conversation about topics he cannot fully comprehend or contribute to.

the gaming junkie who has little or no social life, knowing nothing else to talk about except games and comics and transformers.

the useless group mate who can't contribute much in group discussions and meetings; the one who's just there for the sake of being there. the student who attends school without aim or meaning. the group member whose ONLY usefulness stems from his obsession and knowledge with computers and technology that would otherwise be completely redundant outside of related circumstances.

it's tiring trying to be somebody i'm not. trying to change isn't gonna do anything but create more masks. putting on a facade in order to blend in but still failing miserably. putting on a mask just to show the happier side of things.

i'm so, so tired.