“Everybody loves a hero. People line up for them, cheer them, scream their names. And years later, they'll tell how they stood in the rain for hours just to get a glimpse of the one who taught them how to hold on a second longer. I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, gives us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams…”

i need a hero.
my inner hero has been vanquished.
he can't take no more.


i'm in a fight for my life.
a war i've been fighting since i was kindergarten. those who know me will know what i'm talking about.
this time, it's gotten worse. it's hurt me badly.

mental, spiritual - even physical.

i don't know if i can hold on after so many years. almost automatically, at the start of a brand new year - it happens again. a never-ending cycle of hurt and pain. of living life in fear never knowing when something is gonna screw up.

believe me, this is no joke. and if you've never experienced this before (i really doubt many people have) then don't think you do.
just pray.

if something does go horribly wrong, let it be said: that Ian was someone who loved his God, who loved his friends, who loved the people around him; that he never wanted things to go this way.

all those who can - prayers are greatly appreciated in this time of need.

thank you.






Though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me.
I know You are with me.

My God is Mighty to Save.