Bimbo Has A Whole New Meaning.

i went to school to help out at some event involving the presence of some pre-poly students.

apparently the task was to introduce them to what a stand-upper was and guide them through scripting and presenting their pieces in front of a camera.

my first impression of them was that they were fairly normal people - save for the characteristic black sheep that were extremely attention seeking.

as the first batch was about to send out the first sacrificial lamb to forever imprint their folly on a DVC Pro Tape forever, i introduced them to our Snazzy Huge Video Camera™and explained the basic functions.

it was then that the STUPIDEST question i ever heard came running through my left ear, shredding what was left of my pulsating, shuddering brain and tearing its way out of my right ear. coloured spots exploded in front of my eyes and danced around the peripherals of my vision as i struggled to calm my flailing sanity and wrestle it back into its battered and bruised chains.

this girl cocked her head as she stuck it out of the door, seemingly confused/curious, and asked:

"can i drop it?"

let that sink in for a moment.

"can i drop it?"

THE Snazzy Huge Video Camera™?

YES, CINDERELLA DEAR - OF COURSE YOU CAN!

it's all very easy. 

all it takes is four simple steps.

first

you move within arm's reach of the camera.

second

you reach your arm out. (this is why being within arm's reach of the camera is important, because one would otherwise miss.)

third

you pick the camera off its stand and hold it up high. (if one cannot hold it up due to one's scrawny arms, be sure to get another bimbo to hold it up for you. explain that it's Gucci.)

fourth

you release the tension in  your fingers, causing them to slacken and the camera to embrace gravity and kiss the floor of MediaBiz Studios.

that is if you were willing to pay a rough sum of EIGHTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS to get the camera repaired/replaced.

i rolled the question around the smoking crater which was once my brain, trying to make sense of it all and wanting to find out HOW ON EARTH such a question could be produced and though about, especially with respect to the consequences and monetary compensation to the school that would follow should such an event occur.

"can i drop it?"

the question plagued my mind like so many houseflies over a rotted corpse.

i for the life of me could not fathom why such a STUPID question was asked or even HOW it was concieved.

however, i kept my dissatisfaction/disgust/distaste/disdain/dis______(fill in whatever word you like that fits the prefix) to myself and gritted my teeth, putting the headphones on and pretending not to have heard the STUPIDEST question i ever heard.

as much as i would have liked to tear my shirt and beat my chest in utter frustration and brokenness and scream some sense into the girl, my conscience told me i would be wasting my time, and that it would not be nice to scream at a secondary school kid.

that, and the fact that my teacher was just around the corner. the teacher in question could not hear the STUPIDEST question ever because Cinderella spoke as if her mouth contained gold pieces and refused to speak louder than a fly can buzz.

the inner turmoil that was my head refused to settle itself so i resigned myself to sitting in the corner and listening to broken english and stuttered words that masqueraded as complete sentences.

all this happened within the span of roughly six seconds - and no, i'm not exaggerating. the air of stupidity was heavy enough to crush an unsuspecting child.

too bad fat guys don't get crushed that easily.

The Butterfly and The Other.

once there was a butterfly

flitting about aimlessly in the sky

then out of the corner of his eye

it saw an Other flying by

the butterfly quickly turned

and tried to follow behind

but it saw the sun instead

and became temporarily blind

it could still sense the presence

of an Other that had not gone far

so it trusted its senses to guide it

and nearly went splat on the windshield of a car

after the immense shock

it discovered it now could see

and once went on the trail again

to find out what the Other could be

it then flitted across the fields

and was chased by a dog

it took cover in the marshes

and nearly got eaten by a frog

all this while amongst the mayhem

it only had one goal in mind

to know what was the Other that went by

because it only saw the Other's behind

on and on  and on it went

in desperate search of the Other again

always seeing it going about a corner

but losing track of it around the bend

the butterfly then marveled

at how elusive this Other could be

although for a brief moment there was contact

it saw nothing but beauty

it searched for 

what seemed like an eternity

days to weeks and then to months

and the closest it ever got was Nearly

the butterfly was getting tired

and it could only appreciate from afar

of how the Other seemed so alluring

like a jewel of the night - a star

the Other was always so close

and yet always out of sight

so near yet so far

how the butterfly lamented its plight

to continue chasing something

so fast, yet beautiful and flying free 

the butterfly wanted to see

the Other in its entirety

the last i heard of the butterfly

it was still continuing its chase

and it hopes that one day

it could finally see the Other's face.

Signs

12 minutes well spent watching this.

i was informed that a product was named after my online alter-ego..
and it's none other than..

a footrest. -_-

visit http://www.thewebble.com/ to check it out.

on hindsight the imagery's rather fitting..

i found a purdy widdle bug in my kitchen yesterday (and climbed on top of the counter just to get pictures).

Down With Apple!

source: http://i.gizmodo.com/5166649/ipods-and-young-people-have-utterly-destroyed-music

iPods and Young People Have Utterly Destroyed Music

By matt buchanan, 8:40 PM on Tue Mar 10 2009, 59,784 views

You know how most people are perfectly happy with Apple standard-issue earbuds, white plastic molded around a crappy audio experience? A Stanford professor's informal annual study shows that youngins like the "sizzle sounds" of MP3s.

Each year, Stanford Professor of MusicJonathan Berger does an informal test of his students by playing a bunch of different music in a bunch of different formats. Over email, here's how he told me performs the informal study:

Students were asked to judge the quality of a variety of compression methods randomly mixed with uncompressed 44.1 KHz audio. The music examples included both orchestral, jazz and rock music. When I first did this I was expecting to hear preferences for uncompressed audio and expecting to see MP3 (at 128, 160 and 192 bit rates) well below other methods (including a proprietary wavelet-based approach and AAC). To my surprise, in the rock examples the MP3 at 128 was preferred. I repeated the experiment over 6 years and found the preference for MP3 - particularly in music with high energy (cymbal crashes, brass hits, etc) rising over time.

In other words, younger people haven't just grown more tolerant of thin, soulless MP3 renditions of their favorite music, they actually like them. Shitty MP3s, even. O'Relly Radar quotes Professor Berger as saying that it's the "sizzle sounds" that people are loving because it's what they're comfortable with. So, yes Virginia, iPods really have killed music. People aren't just ignorant of high quality audio, they actually hate it. Gee, thanks for contributing to the downfall of civilization, Apple. Music is dead, everyone, carry on. [O'Reilly Radar, Image:Beard Papa/Flickr]

Good Ol' Sleep..

i have slept a grand total of 18 hours on the 11th of March 2009.

and the sickness still doesn't wanna leave me like a fly hovering over half-rotten food.

the flu's disabling my nose so i can't smell and feel extremely deprived - no point eating anything.

the fever's killing my body so it perspires and i feel icky at all times.

the headache makes the world teeter left and right so i can't concentrate on something.

the sore throat's killing my throat so even swallowing is painful.

being sick and wide awake makes one think.. sometimes of funny things.

and some not-so-funny things.

which is bad.

very bad.

i don't wanna think about those things. :(

but i can't sleep either..

Awesome God.

i woke up this morning with my throat burning, a slight fever and a bad flu.

today was the release of the results via SMS.

as you can probably tell, i wasn't feeling too good about today.

i woke at 8 for no reason and couldnt sleep for 20 minutes (goodness knows why) and woke again at 10, and then again at 2.

and i lay awake in bed, waiting for the dreaded sms ringtone.

and waited..

and waited..

and waited..

and waited..

AND I HEARD IT.

I sprung out of bed (a 100kg mass springing out of bed is a sight to behold) and i grabbed my phone, before frantically prodding the screen to reach the sms screen.

LO AND BEHOLD, MY RESULTS WERE HERE.

Broadcast Performance: B

Cross-Cultural Communications: C+

Multi Cammera: B

Multimedia and Electronic Publishing: D

Radio Production: C

it may not look good to you high achievers and elite, but to me, being from the worst express class in my secondary school and failing nearly every subject there, and having such bad prelim points that even ITE wouldn't accept me, these results were AWESOME.

no failures, and 2 BEES TO BOOT!

maybe my GPA will finally get past 2.5!

THE LORD BE PRAISED!

and for those of you out there who didnt do as expected, here's a quote from a wise friend of mine:

Too often we complain about the bad, and forget all that is good. Lots of bad things happen to us, but it could be worse.

profound, isn't it?

i'm off to celebrate by grabbing some FOOD.

JOY OF JOYS!

MY BEAR BEAR UMBRELLA HAS BEEN FOUND!

rejoicing and celebrations all around!

Ella Ella Ella Eh Eh Eh

i left my favourite umbrella behind in church today.

i only just realised it in a moment of... well, realisation.

it had super cute bears running around the rim of the umbrella doing random things.

i remember telling myself 'take the umbrella after service, take the umbrella after service, don't forget it!'..

.. and i promptly forgot it the moment i stepped out of the chapel. i still loitered around the area and talked to people WITHOUT remembering it was there.

i happily went for dinner and went back to church, and HORROR OF HORRORS! i still didn't realise i had forgotten it. i went back AND I STILL FORGOT IT!

i forsook my umbrella for food.

and now its gone.

my cute cute bear bear umbrella.

i hope i can find it tomorrow.

:'( my heart is broken.

there's nothing to blog about during the holidays - emo time means sleep time.
and sleeping has been so awesome.

a new member of the family has arrived! (click on pictures to expand)

From Optimouse

From Optimouse

From Optimouse

From Optimouse

From Optimouse

From Optimouse

From Optimouse

the world is awesome.. for now.



edit: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HIS EAR! HIS EAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR! :'(
EDIT 2: BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HIS VISOR! HIS VISOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRR. :'( X 100000

mickey is battle scarred. :'(

the world is NOT awesome right now.



on another happier note:
here are the pics from several outings.

Cell Picnic @ Sengkang


Sushi Outing with TP peeps